Why We Love Manipulative Men

A movie mentioned in another post, He's Just Not That Into You, is the kind of movie that is very tongue in cheek. The opening dialogue poses that question "Why do we think men are into us, even if they're not?" Another way to phrase this question is "Why am I in love with such a manipulative jerk?" This sentiment is expressed in numerous by countless women every day, wondering what exactly draws them to such terrible men. 

This type of concept is similar to whole appeal of the romance genre. Characters like Christian Grey, Ross Geller, Rick Blaine, and even Fitzwilliam Darcy are appealing because they provide their audiences with a sense of both power and belonging. What this means is that a viewer would feel the emotions conveyed by the male lead and feel the desire for them that the female lead feels. This concept of being drawn to a fictional character has grown enormously in today's world, expanding the reach of the entertainment world. The desire that the audience feels is in part constructed by a company, but there is an element of choice present.

Why do people watch romance movies? There is not some kind of overhanging threat or foreboding alternative. People watch romance movies with manipulative guys because the movies make them feel better. More specifically, watching a jerk of a guy turn into a dreamy hero through the power of love makes a viewer feel as though they too can change their lives through the power of faith, love, and total disregard for the terrible actions of their partner. The creation of man who is, by virtue alone, set up as being either more educated, wealthier, higher social class, or some combination there of, brought to his knees by his love for a pure maiden is one of the classic fantasies. We are drawn to manipulative men not because we want to be manipulated but we want to manipulate. The ability to take such a terrible man and transform using the love for him puts the women into power, along creating the ideal happily ever after that is the calling card of any romance movie. 

First Comes Love, Then Comes Manipulation

Themes of manipulation are found in many popular books and movies produced today.

One major theme is cat-fishing. There is an entire MTV series as well as multiple movies that deal with this issue. 

Cat-fishing is pretending to be someone else, normally someone who is considered to be more attractive or popular, in order to get closer to another person or begin a  relationship with them. This is an example of inter-manipulation. 

Another major theme is an outside world that forces two characters to end up together. An example of this would be The Hunger Games book and movie franchise or the movie Nerve.

In Nerve, the characters are put into a game where the choices they make have life or death consequences. Their choices are given to them by an outside audience. In the movie, the audience forces the two main characters to get together. This is an example of extra-manipulation. 

Another theme is when a character pushes another out of the way in order to get the relationship that they want. An example of this is Scarlett Johansson's character in he's just not that into you. 

In this movie, Scarlett Johansson's character wedges her way between a married couple in an effort to seduced and win over the man that she wants to be with.